Threat of more Icelandic ashes notwithstanding, I arrived in Manchester early this morning, UK time. The 2 months that I’ve been in the US while C is in the UK is the longest we’ve been apart since we got married a year ago. The length of time apart is part collective decision, but it also had to do with a seeming series of unfortunate events that sprouted one after the other in this trip: A key client’s file/records room and accounting room (i.e., yup the one in CowTown) burned down requiring tedious reconstitution of lost documents. The volcanic eruption in Iceland that closed the skies from air transport, and the skyrocketing of ticket prices once flight resumed. A settlement proposal that went awry in an admin case now headed the direction of a heated trial, among other things = which of course translates to even more heated preps. Admittedly, after Dad passed away, I suddenly left everything behind in the US for a month. Imagine the backlog of work I came back to. And that’s just MY side of the situation. But all’s well and ended. Nothing beats the priceless feeling of gratefulness and happiness running into those welcoming arms at the airport.
I’ve often been asked how C and I manage our marriage where we often have to be apart. I can give the sacchariferous, syrupy answer that others may tend to give about how Love having no bounds in time or space. But in reality, I know it’s not all about Love. At least, not solely. It’s only that we are aware and accepting that our married life together defies convention. We married in our 40’s — both our first, and none of us having kids previously. Each of us having ongoing busy careers (both professions, actually) which we are passionate about. C having projects (power plant projects) tied up for the next coming years. My own expat life extending even before the US. My transitioning to practicing law in the UK requiring yet another Bar exam to hurdle; and in the meanwhile a US client willing to shoulder all costs relating to travel and stay in the US for work every 2 months. For now, maintaining the best of both options on either side of the Atlantic seems the prudent way to go. Particularly given our plans that at some point in the future we will be moving back to the US. It also seems in C’s nature from the start to be encouraging of my practice as an attorney. He has always said that my personal and professional growth works to my happiness, and that that happiness translates to a happier relationship altogether. Makes sense, I must admit. Even if it may sound more scientific and rational than romantic. :) So being determined and committed to make the unconventional circumstances work is really key.
Nonetheless, I am not taking from the important underlying ingredients: trust, and love, and faithfulness should be there. But more than words is action. And a man who immediately puts a new kitchen together for me while I am away in the US, and takes all the heat (oooh, a pun!) so that I do not have to worry about “joiners” (English for “carpenters”), sawdust everywhere, and hanging electrical guts; and who happily announces my return home in his Facebook (which I secretly peeked today — No, we are not each other’s “friends”) — yeah there’s substance to the unspoken there.
And so I am “home” now, where he is, in a truly meaningful way than a mere cliche. And happy. Here is to more adventurous in Little England in the coming days. :)